var a = Math.random() + "" var rand1 = a.charAt(5) quotes = new Array quotes[1] = "Without a doubt, my best attributes are my calves. I don’t know if they’re earned or genetic, but they’re almost comically muscular, the equivalent of Popeye’s forearms. For years I was complemented on them. Strangers stopped me in the streets. But that all changed with the widespread availability of implants. Now when people look at my legs I sense them wondering why I didn’t have my ass done at the same time. It’s how women with naturally shapely breasts must feel – robbed and full of rage.— David Sedaris" quotes[2] = "Some say that his heart ticks like a watch, and that he's confused by stairs" quotes[3] = "fire wasn't invented because it was useful, but because it was awesome! – Joseph" quotes[4] = "Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground" quotes[5] = "It's OK to be uncool – Bono" quotes[6] = "Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire, he'd burn for a thousand days" quotes[7] = "I've been looking at white papers for “Item-based Collaborative Filtering Recommendation Algorithms”, and it's fairly obvious my complete lack of college-level math is beginning to catch up to me. – Max" quotes[8] = "We'll snap" quotes[9] = "You can hire anyone, as long as you scare the bejesus out of them – El Jobso" quotes[0] = "Obviously we can't literally put our employees' lives at risk. But we have to make them feel that way. – El Jobso" var quote = quotes[rand1] document.write(quote); Don't Panic |.....Tumblr (3.0; @jonathanshidler)http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/Just drove in an 88 Corvette with Bon Jovi on the radio with rolled sleaves and blue jeans with...<p>Just drove in an 88 Corvette with Bon Jovi on the radio with rolled sleaves and blue jeans with @<a href="http://twitter.com/BSonkin" target="_blank">BSonkin</a>. Next Step: Molly Ringwald.</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/236891253http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/236891253Sun, 08 Nov 2009 02:43:40 -0800Years of Respect for Volvo ruined instantly with the “What drives Edward” ads. Really,...<p>Years of Respect for Volvo ruined instantly with the “What drives Edward” ads. Really, are Twilight-Vampires such pussies they drive Volvos?</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/236250412http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/236250412Sat, 07 Nov 2009 12:36:01 -0800I wish I wasn’t so attracted to hatchback and wagon cars. I really really do.<p>I wish I wasn’t so attracted to hatchback and wagon cars. I really really do.</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/236179572http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/236179572Sat, 07 Nov 2009 11:03:20 -0800Dear Grandma Iris, it took 19 years, but I finally like Pistachios.<p>Dear Grandma Iris, it took 19 years, but I finally like Pistachios.</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/235842008http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/235842008Sat, 07 Nov 2009 01:51:06 -0800People’s emotions are hard for me to comprehend, yet dreadfully painful in my harboring them...<p>People’s emotions are hard for me to comprehend, yet dreadfully painful in my harboring them within my constant concerns.</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/235637091http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/235637091Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:45:43 -0800Idea: stop being frustrated, and watch the Highlander. or at the very least: http://bit.ly/2SalvV...<p>Idea: stop being frustrated, and watch the Highlander. or at the very least: <a href="http://bit.ly/2SalvV" target="_blank">http://bit.ly/2SalvV</a> will have to do.</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/235637089http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/235637089Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:45:43 -0800If I can stop thinking about it, I could stop shouting into the darkness.<p>If I can stop thinking about it, I could stop shouting into the darkness.</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/235571427http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/235571427Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:27:36 -0800Plan for day: Write Leases, Resolve issues with owners, go to matinee showing (maybe), take Zee Zee...<p>Plan for day: Write Leases, Resolve issues with owners, go to matinee showing (maybe), take Zee Zee to Shiba Inu Meetup in LA, listen to U2.</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/235143568http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/235143568Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:15:37 -0800just got home; 110 north is my new favorite night time road: tunnels, curves, and bright lights on...<p>just got home; 110 north is my new favorite night time road: tunnels, curves, and bright lights on the lanes so I don’t fuck up in merging.</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/234815130http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/234815130Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:35:34 -0800oh, hello sunset. http://twitpic.com/ofcoj<p>oh, hello sunset. <a href="http://twitpic.com/ofcoj" target="_blank">http://twitpic.com/ofcoj</a></p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/234529479http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/234529479Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:01:51 -0800the sea, the snotgreen sea, the scrotum tightening sea.<p>the sea, the snotgreen sea, the scrotum tightening sea.</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/234345287http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/234345287Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:37:10 -0800in la. and if I don’t hear back from the listing agent for my client by friday, let’s...<p>in la. and if I don’t hear back from the listing agent for my client by friday, let’s just say, ‘I’ve run all out of bubblegum.’</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/234263895http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/234263895Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:59:48 -0800I accidentally dressed as stev jobs today, I felt my wnmobile phone wimper in fear all day<p>I accidentally dressed as stev jobs today, I felt my wnmobile phone wimper in fear all day</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/232626997http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/232626997Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:19:38 -0800“Let me get this straight: you were late for work because you were watching ‘Smokey and...<p>“Let me get this straight: you were late for work because you were watching ‘Smokey and the Bandit’? “</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/232030711http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/232030711Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:06:31 -0800Full Moon Dreams again.<p>Full Moon Dreams again.</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/231721904http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/231721904Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:14:31 -0800Oh, PST, it’s good to see you again. Oh, what’s that, PST? ‘Sunset is at like...<p>Oh, PST, it’s good to see you again. Oh, what’s that, PST? ‘Sunset is at like 5:30?’ Oh, well fuck that noise.</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/231572423http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/231572423Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:01:21 -0800Goal, 15+ houses bought and/or sold in 12 months, Starting December 2009<p>Goal, 15+ houses bought and/or sold in 12 months, Starting December 2009</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/230604482http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/230604482Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:08:05 -0800Listening to Brian Eno to wake up as we travel back in time. #PDTtoPST<p>Listening to Brian Eno to wake up as we travel back in time. #PDTtoPST</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/229943739http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/229943739Sun, 01 Nov 2009 10:47:19 -0800I’ve gone back to listening to Beethoven non stop. This is not a good sign.<p>I’ve gone back to listening to Beethoven non stop. This is not a good sign.</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/228650965http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/228650965Fri, 30 Oct 2009 23:22:19 -0700I know what I am doing for next Halloween.<p>I know what I am doing for next Halloween.</p>http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/228593668http://jonathanshidler.tumblr.com/post/228593668Fri, 30 Oct 2009 21:58:15 -0700